


It's Getting Boring By The Sea

by little_giddy



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-15
Updated: 2012-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_giddy/pseuds/little_giddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prometheus Unbound AU. They take Vala to Atlantis instead. Cameos from Atlantis expedition & others.</p><p>Prompts:<br/>1. I love D/V fic where the rest of the team is also involved. Maybe on a mission?<br/>2. AUs are AWESOME!</p><p>Notes: It doesn’t so much take a village as a bff, and by that I mean hariboo-smirks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Getting Boring By The Sea

day one

Daniel watches Vala Mal Doran pacing on the monitor before turning back to General Hammond on the bridge.

‘I really don’t think this is... the best plan we’ve ever come up with.’

Hammond is clearly trying to hold back something that would be a smirk if only he weren’t a three star general. ‘Well, Dr. Jackson - if you want us to turn back around and head for Earth-’

Daniel lets out a groan and slumps forward on the table at his station. ‘No,’ he says against the skin of his forearm. ‘No, no and again, no.’

General Hammond isn’t even trying to pretend he isn’t amused anymore. ‘Speaking of Colonel O’Neill, someone should really-’

Daniel sits up with a speed that makes his already sore head spin. ‘Surely... he can read about all of this -’ he gestures to the holes in his sleeves, ‘in the mission... report? No?’

‘We do need to conference with Colonel Carter to check on the repairs.’ General Hammond gives every appearance of reasonableness. And it’s a very reasonable point, Daniel knows, but narrows his eyes through his spare glasses anyway.

They’re spares because they don’t fit as well but he’s not optimistic enough to think he’s getting through a whole mission without breaking a pair. The fact that someone broke them taking him prisoner is less surprising than it would have been a few years before. He thinks that he’ll have to rotate opticians again when he gets back to Colorado Springs - too many replacements and they get suspicious about what kind of academia has so much hazard pay.

But he has bigger problems, and they’re concentrated in the form of a thief on the brig in level five.

‘Oh no,’ Daniel realises, feeling his gut lurch. He squints at General Hammond and sighs. ‘You know we probably can’t drag her to another galaxy without at least telling her, right?’

‘The thought had crossed my mind,’ Hammond replies as the rest of the crew start to filter into their positions at the bridge. Daniel lets out his, oh what, sixth sigh of the conversation and looks at the ceiling.

‘So I should go and tell her. Even if she is a thief.’

‘We’re in your debt, Dr Jackson,’ Hammond nods with wide eyes.

Daniel could say a lot to that, but some of the crew might even understand Russian swear words, so he doesn’t.

*

day two

The width of the sliding door into the brig on level five is exactly five of Daniel’s quietest steps. He knows because he’s been pacing it for about ten minutes. Earth minutes.

He takes a deep breath and pushes the passcode into the console. The door slides open with an ominous hiss. Except he’s making that up because he’s on the right side of the force field this time and needs to stop narrating his own life internally.

Vala Mal Doran unfurls herself from the corner and grins. ‘Daniel! Come to tell me I’m being conveniently ringed down to a planet with a plethora of treasures to be liberated?’

‘Oh good,’ Daniel snaps back, ‘we’ve officially dropped the part where you’re stealing to give back to the poor.’ He smacks his forehead mentally - why can he not stop himself?

‘Darling, have a heart,’ Vala scolds with a frown that’s clearly mocking, ‘Occasionally I am the poor. Now, which waystation am I being deposited at? Because I have a list of those I’d rather avoid, if you’ll kindly pass me a writing implement and paper.’

Daniel winces.

‘It’s even better, isn’t it? You’re tossing me back onto my alkesh,’ Vala throws her hair. ‘Which is fine. The breakages are more theatrical than actual, if you take my meaning. Throw a switch here, replace a crystal -’

Daniel blanches. He doesn’t know why he even thinks this is going to be as bad as it will be. Force field, he reminds himself, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

‘We might have declared the alkesh actually broken and stripped it for parts,’ he lets out.

Vala sits with a thud. ‘No-oh.’

Daniel nods. ‘Um, yes.’

Vala shakes her head as if to clear it and waves a hand at him dismissively. ‘Temporary set back. Now, which planet? Do be a dear and drop me off somewhere with a beach. What’s a little security testing between friends?’

‘’Security testing?’’ Daniel repeats, incredulous, ‘that’s what they’re calling kidnapping and theft nowadays?’

‘Just think of all of those sub-routines and air vents your staff are tightening up even now. The holes I found, this bucket is clearly on its first interstellar jaunt,’ Vala shoots back. ‘Frankly, you people should be paying me.’

Daniel laughs. And then bites his lip. ‘I should tell you something even though you can’t really do anything about it and we’re already on the way. We’re, um, taking a detour.’

Vala turns on a heel and puts her hands on her hips, making the dark blue flight suit look, if possible, even more ridiculous. ‘How long is this ‘detour’? Exactly?’

Thirty seconds later, Daniel exits the room as though he’s dodging fireballs, and the crew in the hall on level five hear shouts of get back here and explain yourself - you can’t just cart someone off to another galaxy - galaxy! - without - I don’t even have spare outfits or tasers -

*

day five

It’s been two days by the ship’s dubious clock since Daniel told Vala that they were on the road out of the Milky Way. He’s spent most of it editing his mission report, reading reports and answering an inbox full of emails that all say ‘I heard you got in trouble’ in tones ranging from concerned to ha ha ha ha, it’s all funny if nobody died, right, Danny boy? Ice the nose!

He’s not feeling guilty at all.

Which is absolutely not why he ends up outside the brig with a single cup of hot coffee and a tablet full of fiction texts that he’s cleared with Hammond as not giving away essential details of Earth’s defences.

Daniel sits them on the ground and leaves.

*

day six

‘Daaaaan-iel.’

He groans and throws a pillow at the source of the sound.

‘Daniel, put on those ridiculous glasses if you’re going to throw things. I can’t see but the sound I heard was pathetic.’

‘Wh-’

He sits up.

‘Vala?! Where-’

‘Hacked the intercom with a hair clip and that tablet you gave me. I was bored.’

Daniel gives up on sleep and sits up. ‘What do you want?’

‘Company and better clothes. Not in that order. Care to oblige me?’

‘You hack the ship’s sytems with my peace offering and then you want me to give you more comfortable clothes?’

The more awake he feels, the more dreadful a kind of sense its making, if he’s honest.

‘It’s not like I broke it. I just added extra functionalities to both the brig and the tablet.’ Vala actually sounds insulted. ‘Something without these metal fastenings in a blue or black would be excellent. Do you want me to give you details about the many ways in which these zips are not comfortable?’

Daniel groans. ‘Please don’t.’

‘Then I’ll see you in the morning. Sleep well, Daniel.’

*

day eight

It’s 0200 by Daniel’s chosen ship time.

‘You know, you can either tell them to stop undoing my work or I can keep dropping in on you while you try to sleep.’

Daniel likes to think his aim is getting better.

‘Do you really think they’re going to let you keep messing with the intercom just because I ask? Really?’

‘No,’ Vala shoots back through the crackling speaker. ‘But you could mention that I was awake when we went into hyperspace, and I know something about space travel what with being a - what was it you said in your sleep, darling? - rotten space pirate. Hence, I am deeply unlikely to sabotage the ship while I’m on it. Ask me nicely and I might even volunteer to do a shift at the bridge, you know, let your pilot have a nap.’

Daniel snorts into his pillow and punches it weakly. ‘Goodnight, Vala.’

*

day ten

Daniel opens the brig door with the force field set across it and raises an eyebrow.

‘Don’t you dare tell me to tidy my room,’ Vala says immediately.

Daniel takes in the three trays - yellow, black and red - from the cafeteria that are balanced against the wall and the scraps of paper surrounding them. ‘What exactly is the points system you have going here?’

‘Red is furthest away and hence, most valuable. Yellow, closer. Black is pretty much just a control.’ Vala tilts her head at the trays and then, without so much as blinking, tosses a ball of paper sideways at the exact point in the force field that is in front of Daniel’s face, then laughs so hard that she has to use the sleeve of her black long-sleeved tee to wipe the corners of her eyes.

Daniel tries really hard not to laugh, but it’s too much like other immature people with short attention spans of his acquaintance for him not to. ‘So you’re still bored.’

‘You missed the part where I fine-tuned my muscles on the ceiling bar, then,’ Vala arches an eyebrow at him. ‘Also, may I point out that ‘still’ implies something else has changed other than the expected passage of time. I should tell you, Daniel, and the lovely people on the other side of the camera in the corner, that whole worlds have been known to fear my boredom more than a System Lord’s wrath.’

‘Let me guess,’ Daniel leans on the door frame, ‘last time you were this bored, you took hostages?’

‘However did you know?’ Vala swings her legs up onto the cot and swings one foot back and forth.

‘I think I was there,’ Daniel answers dryly.

*

day fourteen

‘An escort - armed, at all times,’ Hammond ticks off on his fingers, ‘and nowhere near anything that could be linked into the ship’s systems.’

Daniel nods very seriously, feeling very slightly smug that it wasn’t even his idea to let Vala out of her cell on strict conditions. He’d merely mentioned to the ship’s doctor that perhaps he’d like to use the gym after all, to keep his muscles in shape while he was on board, and so that he didn’t end up working out on the ceiling bars the way Vala had been. Worried about muscle stagnation in artificial gravity and human rights, the doc had asked Hammond to let Vala wander a bit. As in, to the cafeteria and the gym and back.

*

day fifteen

‘Siler! Stay away from her! Don’t you have enough accidents?’

‘But-’

‘She’ll make it look like one!’

Vala raises an eyebrow at the doorway and then gives Siler a grin. ‘I really don’t think he likes me. But I like you.’

Siler runs.

*

day nineteen

Daniel has so far managed to avoid being in the training room at the same time as Vala, but he’s heard stories from everyone about how many pilots have had their asses handed to them.

Hammond was initially extremely sceptical about the form of exercise she seemed to prefer - which as far as Daniel could tell was leveraging fighting wins for cafeteria credits in a skillfully managed racket - until Daniel had pointed out that a) if the pilots were silly enough to try their luck, they probably deserved to lose a coffee or jello pot and b) the gym was one of the most technologically-light areas of the ship, with minimal potential for, say, remote-hardwiring the hyperdrive.

He wraps a towel around his neck and plucks at the waist of his most worn track pants on the way in.

Then he sees Vala in the corner at a punch bag, turning to give it a sharp kick.

‘Another busy day taking names and dessert coupons?’ Daniel grins and puts his towel on the bench by the bucket of water bottles.

Vala shoots him a look and flexes a bandaged fist in the direction of the water bottles. Daniel throws her one. ‘Careful - insult me enough and I won’t leave any cheesecake for you out of spite.’

Daniel looks at the mat behind them. ‘How do I go about winning a few, then?’

Vala pauses and looks him up and down. ‘You do remember how you ended up warming up my cell, right?’ She shakes her head while Daniel sends a mental objection in advance to the poor souls watching the monitors. ‘As far as I know, you haven’t lost any coupons yet this week.’

Daniel grins. ‘I can always use more coffee tokens.’

‘You just want to even the score and don’t deny it,’ Vala teases, grinning and sidestepping onto the mat.

Daniel faces off opposite her. ‘Maybe you’re not the only one with a problem being ship-bound for weeks,’ he says as he dodges a right hook and blocks a low kick with his left calf.

‘I assume you’re talking about the pilots?’ Vala says innocently, ‘because I’ll have you know I’ve the patience of a space-born organism.’

‘Ha,’ Daniel shoots back, catching her wrist and turning in the first steps of a throw.

‘Took on Shaft with a staff today, wrap your tongue around that one,’ she says with a positively vicious grin.

Daniel swallows, thinking that if she’s around much longer, he might just get used to the innuendos. And Vala twists, throwing him thoroughly onto the mat.

Daniel kicks her feet from under her.

And then they both resort to such tactics unbefitting the dignity of space pirates and archaeologists alike that they end up calling it a draw and Daniel gains half her stash of coffee coupons.

*

landing day

Daniel meets Elizabeth Weir at the dock and kisses her cheek. ‘So I hear you have exciting stories of space travel to share.’

Daniel laughs, ‘I don’t think I’d ever hear the end of it if Vala heard her notoriety had beaten her to another galaxy, so please don’t say that so loudly.’

*

sixth day on Atlantis

‘You really aren’t going to tell me where we are, are you?’

‘Nope.’

‘But why? What if it’s dreadfully exciting and I’m missing out on thieving opportunities of a lifetime?’

‘Vala, listen to that sentence again.’

‘... I see your point. Not even a hint?’

*

tenth day on Atlantis

Daniel doesn’t want to know how his mission report - including a detailed, blow-by-blow account of his fight with Vala and transcripts of her completely inaccurate interview about the same event - became downloable pdf files on the Atlantis intranet, but he has a feeling Jack or Vala herself are somehow responsible. Either way, he hides in the library of the Ancients away from the grins and dubious attempts at reassurance.

‘Hey, don’t worry about it - you should hear some of the stories everyone knows about Sheppard-’

‘Shut up, McKay!’

*

leaving day

Daniel finishes supervising the very careful transport of his books, notes and the artefacts he’s being trusted to courier back to the labs on Earth and turns to the team on Atlantis.

‘So next time, do we get to meet this mysterious woman you’ve got locked up?’ McKay asks with his usual - Daniel is realising - amount of tact.

‘I doubt it, and I doubt you really want to,’ Daniel replies, grinning, before he says a proper goodbye to the team.

‘Don’t be a stranger, and if you need anything -’ Elizabeth says as she hugs him quickly.

‘I’ll jump on the first ship out,’ Daniel nods.

*

three weeks later

‘Daniel-’

Daniel turns in his sleep and throws the pillow at the intercom. ‘Vala, I thought we talked about this.’

‘Actually, you gave me what I wanted in exchange for me leaving you alone to sleep, but whatever makes you happy, darling.’

‘Is there a point? You know we drop out of hyperspace tomorrow and I have to unload god knows how many crates-’

‘-all of which you chose to bring from our mystery destination. Actually, I just wanted to say goodbye.’

‘Good-?’

But the hiss of the intercom is already gone and so is their hyperspeed.

Daniel sinks back against the pillow with a fist against his forehead as the alarms, inevitably, start to ring.

*

two years later: the SGC

‘So I don’t know whether to be excited or not excited,’ Vala says from her perch on the edge of his desk, legs swinging back and forth.

‘I thought you were here to help me pack,’ Daniel calls from the other side of the pile of boxes. ‘Maybe you could-?’

‘I’m supervising,’ Vala replies archly, ‘It’s called an aerial view of the process.’

‘Right, of course,’ Daniel mutters without any real bite in it and pushes his glasses up his nose. He hears two slaps as Vala’s feet hit the floor and sees her start to push books into more orderly rows in the boxes. ‘You were saying?’

‘Oh yes!’ Vala’s fingers snap above the boxes. ‘Excited or not excited. On the one hand, we’re going to Atlantis because the Ancients need to get their heads out of their -’ Daniel snorts as Vala shouts the Goa’uld for ‘asses’ at his office ceiling, ‘and stop Adria from taking over the galaxies. On the plus side, I’m going to Atlantis. On the downside again, it’s three weeks stuck on a bloody ship, and the last time I was that bored-’

‘-you took hostages,’ Daniel finishes, standing and reaching for the lukewarm coffee on his desk. Whatever, it’s caffeine.

‘You remember,’ Vala says, also standing with a grin. ‘You know, darling, I think you were there.’

‘Yeah, about that-’ Daniel bites his lip. ‘There’s something I should probably tell you. And there’s nothing you can do about it, but-’

Thirty seconds later he’s chased out of his own office by multi-lingual curses upon his ancestors.

He thinks the trip probably won’t be so bad this time.

Probably.

THE END.


End file.
